Waiting on God

I’ve been dwelling in the state of uncertainty lately. Have you ever had that one year where all you do is to put in work and yet, you don’t yield any return? You doubt yourself — your capabilities, your intelligence, and even your ability to make sound decisions. And then it gets worse; you question your place in life, even your purpose for this life? This life, . . . my friends, . . . the life that a majority of people on this earth wish they had?

Have you ever had that feeling? Have you answered those questions?

Here I am in the middle of everything that feels somewhat structured – I wake up in the morning, . . . have my breakfast, get ready, work, lunch, work more, pick up my kid from school and practice, cook, eat dinner, clean, read/study, squeeze in minimal TV time, write my post, and do it all over again the next day. If you see there’s no mention of working out, it’s because it hasn’t been done in quite awhile 😀 Will I go back to it? Absolutely! It’s just a matter of priority, and yes — that one famous, sometimes elusive word – “Time.”

The ‘unrewindable’ and at times incomprehensible ‘Time’, intertwines so tightly with our ability to wait. This Fall, like any other autumn season, . . . where days get shorter, the plants we carefully nurture from Spring start to wither and slowly perish with the winter freeze, we wait for the next round of life. Patience is indeed called for.

How life requires structure, discipline and patience. Out of those three things I consistently struggle to possess, “patience” is the hardest. If you zoom into the meaning of patience: there’s an insurmountable amount of faith, and a quiet form of courage. Letting go of the withered idea of ‘perfection’ – where everything is delivered to you in your set time; “exactly how we planned it,” we proudly say — to simply hoping to see the whole new fruits of your hard work take place.

Here I am, in the midst of finding the answer to all of these life questions, . . . in the heart of seeding . . . and in the depths of anticipating for the new to be revealed.

This mystery of life, along with the unknown paths that lead to such ambiguous future. I surrender to His design, . . .  I’m simply waiting on God . . .